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Daughters and Dating

Many parents have seen a version of an "Application for Permission to Date My Daughter" as it is often shared on social media. For those who have not seen the application, it is a lighthearted joke that parents share to emphasize just how valuable their daughters are to them. The application includes questions that cover a variety of topics such as, "Social Security Number," "Greatest Fear," and "In 50 words or less, explain what the word 'Late' means to you."

The creative license taken in creating these contracts can be funny. But when well-meaning parents begin taking this joke a little too seriously, we run into pretty real dangers. As Jen Wilkin points out in her article for The Gospel Coalition, parents need a legitimate strategy--and this funny application isn't going to cut it. Wilkin offers these three pieces of advice to parents on how to raise their daughter to date in a way they can approve of (without an application process):

  1. Build a wall
  2. Encourage your daughter in her own strength
  3. Put down your shotgun
Build a wall might sound like odd advice as it relates to parenting and dating. But Wilkin isn't referring to a Rapunzel wall, through which you hide your daughter from the world. Rather, she suggests that you raise your daughter to be a wall herself: "If she be a wall, we will build upon her a palace of silver"(Song of Solomon 8:8). Her beauty is her strength and she is able to defend herself against any unworthy suitors. Then, teach your daughter to never back down from her strength. Her strength comes from God, and she should never diminish it for fear of intimidating a potential suitor.

Finally, put down the shotgun. Wilkin states, "She shouldn't need you to scare off weak suitors. Let her strength and dignity do the job. Resolve to settle for nothing less than the best protection for your daughter. Resolve to be the kind of man you want her to bring home. Resolve to build a wall."

To read more about these steps, click HERE.